Looking back, I realize that God gave unusually strong faith to accomplish this transition. I also realize that there is a sense in which we were a bit naive. Imagine showing up in Dallas, Texas on a Monday morning with everything you own and having no residence secured wherein to unload any of it. It never even occurred to us that God would fail us. Never once in our young lives had He ever let us down. He still has not. So why am I struggling now?
Our youngest son leaves in two days to begin basic training in the U.S. Army. When he detonated the IED (Improvised Explosive Device) that he had enlisted, fear shot through me in a fashion that I have never experienced. I must admit that panic set in for the next few hours. I love both of my sons dearly. Somehow nineteen years just does not seem qualification enough to make such a weighty decision.
I began questioning him, trying to understand his rationale. I asked all of the usual dad-type questions: Are you nuts?! There is a war on!; Are you trying to give your mother and I a heart attack!?; Did you really pray about this!? Did you!!!??? He assured us that he had sought God's guidance and that he did know that there was a war in progress. Those answers did not make it all better.
In my prayer time this morning, God burst a bombshell in my heart.
Strong faith will never be realized until one leans heavily upon it. We seldom lean heavily upon faith until we have no other choice.Just as Donna and I left home and family to prepare for service many years ago, our son leaves home to prepare for service. He will travel to a place he has never been. He will endure rigorous training and much hardship. I am sure that just as his mother and I wept together in the dark of the night, so will he. In reality, we have taken paths not as opposite as I first thought.
Therefore, my prayer is that God give my son the faith of Paul, the courage of Stephen, and the dedication of Luke. As for his mother and I, we pray for the faith to trust God in ways we have not before; not for our own journey, but for the journey our son will take to lands unknown. May we each lean heavily upon His mighty arm.
3 comments:
God has revealed things to me thru many ways in the past year. The hardest may have been very similar to you and Donna. Not having control over protecting the people in your life, especially your children can be very difficult to accept. The fact is we have never had that control. After my miscarriage I realized how inmaterial I am in keeping my children from harm. God and God alone holds them in his hands. To say that is very easy and comforting, until you don't understand his plan for them. My unborn child was used by God for his glory, although at the time all I saw was a disaster. Give God time to reveal his perfect plan and in the meantime pray for understanding, comfort, peace and for your beautiful son to have the same. God is God ALL THE TIME! Even when things seem all wrong.
Wow...great blog. Dad just told me about your blog, and I'm glad he did. I've just been blogging a short time...some of it is jibberish, some of it is worth reading! I enjoy it. I'll be praying for you and Donna as you make this adjustment in your lives. Now that I'm a parent, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. May you feel God's mighty arms around you tightly!!
"Strong faith will never be realized until one leans heavily upon it. We seldom lean heavily upon faith until we have no other choice"
Amazing how God answers my pleas. Time and time I have cried out, and he has led me to some amazing revelation through anothers experience. Tonight, my life just seemed to be in absolute turmoil. I came across your blog by just fooling around on some of the other blogs I read ocassionaly, specifically Meredith's. I don't even know who you are, but seeing this specific post on your blog has blessed me beyond measure. You see, it was tonight I had some serious prayer time and reflection, but it came on the heels of desparation. I "had no other choice" as you would say. As I was crying, searching for answers, pleading with God to clear things up for me (and not really one minute thinking he was certainly capable or even wanted to), my answer to my present agony is so elementary-FAITH. Even if it comes when we "have no other choice". Thank you, sir, for letting the words and insight pressed upon your heart and your family's past and present experiences flow freely on to the computer. I know you truly seek our father, and I thankyou for reminding me to lean heavily on his mighty arm. I know your insight is God-given and I look forward to reading your blog again to keep that thought fresh in my heart. God bless you, your family and especially your son. Your sister in Christ, Melissa
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